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Funniest Puns Ever

The funniest puns ever make the day go better.  Below is a compilation of some of the funniest puns ever, that have been submitted. Good puns should be part of your day, every day. Terrible puns should be allowed, bad puns should be banned. The best terrible puns, the best horrible puns, and just the best puns of all are compiled here. 

Really Dumb Puns Stupid PunsCrazy Short Puns Silly PunsDandy PunsHilarious PunsThe Best PunsReal Stinker PunsAbsolutely Terrible PunsReal keepersHorrific Puns

Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself?

The lights were so bright at the Chinese restaurant that the waiter was asked to dim sum

Math teachers have a lot of problems

When I was in the supermarket I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode. I asked, “Are you two an item?”

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis

Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses

No matter how much you push the envelope, you will always be stationary

“Where do you find giant snails? On the ends of giant’s fingers.

I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way

A dyslexic man walked into a bra  :)

I was on an elevator the other day, and the operator kept calling me ‘son.’ I said, ‘Why do you call me ’son’? You’re not my father.’ He said, ‘I brought you up, didn’t I?’

There were two ships. One had red paint, one had blue paint. They collided. At last report, the survivors were marooned.

 I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck. The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up and asked, “Did you get my drift?

funniest puns ever originally appeared on Seriousbirder.com on October 1, 2013.

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